Being selfish has always been seen as a bad thing. If someone’s trying to insult your character, one of the first things they’ll call you is selfish and/or narcissistic. Popular culture is filled with memes and tropes of selfish people meeting their downfall and a lot of gossip consists of people picking apart what they think are someone else’s delusions of grandeur. In the age of social media, a lot of people are thinking they’re all that and a bag of chips, so most of us have a lot of material. When it comes to people we see as selfish, we tend to hate them. We all imagine being a part of a community, and none of us want to be left alone. Selfish people scare us to our core, and they make us angry because they take liberties that we won’t. Selfish people make us feel like we’re unwanted and missing out. One of these feelings could be tolerable, together they’re awful and makes feel really unsafe. But sometimes, selfishness is good. In extreme cases, selfishness can be the difference between life and death. In my case, it seems to have been the difference between happiness and misery.
When I was younger, I had a very hard time. I was incredibly depressed and miserable. This was because my life was lacking in meaning and I was in poor health. My back used to hurt me all the time, and if felt impossible to move forward. I trudged through life, making a lot of mistakes and often feeling absolutely miserable. I was an angry person, and I didn’t develop the social skills to make the proper relationships I needed. I pissed a lot of people off, all while getting nothing done.
Things began while I was watching a podcast with Gabor Maté, an episode of Diary of a CEO. While watching this podcast, I learned that health and well being were linked to one’s Ability to stand up for oneself. In Maté’s estimation, being overly selfless leads to the building up of resentment. When we get resentful it affects our health. People who are more selfish don’t suffer these negative health effects.
I never was afraid of doing what I wanted when it came to experimenting with different hobbies and career paths, but I wasn’t very assertive. I would do a lot of stuff that I didn’t want to do, and I was afraid of chasing my dreams.
I had thought hard about taking control of my life, and had really mulled over doing what it takes in order to make my dreams reality. But I hadn’t made much progress. All I had done was go with the flow.
I got to work, figuring that even though living in a poor country is daunting, I would be able to figure out how to make a living from my laptop eventually. I was half-right. Making some money from my laptop was easy. The first thing I wrote earned me money. But was it enough money? No. I spent another three years working and learning. Now, I know how to build an audience, and get traffic to my articles. This is a new venture, and I’ve made others work before. I’m nowhere near having money yet, but I feel confident as a digital nomad now. It’s all because I was able to be selfish, and focus on what needed to be focused on. I’m also healthier now, I’m feeling way better than I ever have.
Things are nowhere near perfect. I’m still pretty broke by American standards, and have a decent bit of work ahead of me. But they’re far better than they ever have been, because I’m close to having achieved my dreams. When you chose to be selfish and focus on your goals, you start shaping the world in your image. This makes your work more satisfying, and that should give you an increased drive to succeed, if you’re anything like me.
Like I said at the beginning of the article, being selfish often has negative connotations. It feels cold. But I don’t think that’s true, if you apply yourself over time. Being selfish allows you to get stronger, and if you’re stronger you can do more for everyone around you. That being said it’s a balance. Most people will have no idea what you’re doing. This is why I personally don’t spend too much time around average people. Too much negativity. But how much you socialize is up to you. If you focus on yourself and develop a skill, you’ll be able to maximize your impact on society later in life. You’ll also have more stuff, freedom, and peace of mind. A very worthwhile move overall.
