I really don’t like the fact that my articles about young men get so much traction. There are a lot of gender issues in this world, but a lot of them could be solved if we all treated each other with respect, and democracy along with people’s real-life experiences were taken seriously with regards to hot button issues like abortion. Unfortunately, we live in the real world. Outrage content is somehow still going viral. “Women are taking over.” “Incels are killing themselves.” “Men are dropping out of society.” I try to block this kind of crap from my YouTube page, but it keeps popping up because the content does numbers. There is a sizeable chunk of people out there that is either feeling dissatisfied with life or is convinced that young men have a reason to be dissatisfied with life. I’ve come to conclusion that this is because there’s less of a clear way for men to get ahead in today’s day and age than there was in the past. I say this as a young man whose figured out what it takes to get ahead in today’s day and age in comparison to my peers. My path was clear in some ways, but in others it really wasn’t. Things would have been a lot easier if my environment made more sense.
Masculinity is less well defined than ever
There are no clear role models for men. There are no rituals unless you’re part of a specific ethnic group. Life under capitalism is a choose your own adventure game. We’re picking lifestyles and obligations nowadays, not following a set path. This has caused most people, especially men, to reject responsibility. I don’t think this is the right response, but it’s what has happened.
Money used to buy women
Race (and generally being in a dominant position) used to matter more, from what I can tell from studying history. Men who could provide had an easy time attracting women. Nowadays you need game aka social skills. So now guys need to solve two problems in their lives, if they aren’t born with natural talent. This usually leads to them trying to get rich in order to get laid. Doesn’t work well, and usually has pretty embarrassing results. Rich people who get laid often got rich in part due to their personalities. It’s a chicken or egg thing.
It’s harder than ever to get a good living
More young people are living at home than ever. Salaries are not rising. Inflation has slowed down, but we’re still feeling the effects of the pandemic. Young men can’t afford houses. They can’t date pretty women. They can’t do much. This is truer in poorer countries, but it applies around the world. Entry level jobs are disappearing, and young men aren’t being propped up or helped as a collective. It’s a little easier for men of color or gay men to get some advantages in high demand fields, but I’m sure the advantages fizzle out as you approach upper management.
The west kind of sucks for men socially
“Woke” people have kind of created a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men feel pushed out. They get isolated and angry. Weirdo stuff like kiddy porn and rape happen more frequently. Capitalism on the other hand allowed powerful men to do crazy stuff like sex trafficking. There’s a justifiable push to help women in this world, but it’s making the social climate difficult for a young man who’s just going about their day to be interested. I don’t want to talk about woke stuff and politics all day. The only reason I care about politics is because some of the stuff the American politicians are laugh out loud hilarious. I don’t really want to tiptoe around neurotic, easily offended people all the time either. Most people I know from (left-leaning) major cities seem to want to live that way. They literally value different things and see the world completely differently from the average young man. They shouldn’t be surprised that young men simply chose a different scene once they’ve made their money. Lots of people are happier in Latin America, but you don’t even have to go that far to see many white-collar environments are basically overrun with psychotic lefties.
On the flipside, conservatives aren’t that nice either. Generally speaking, nothing I’ve seen from western society tells me that young men should expect anything besides money and work out of it.
Weird gender war nonsense
This is an offshoot of my previous point. None of the women I know my age are incredibly financially successful. A lot of the women I know have degrees and struggle to find jobs. But the narrative is that there’s a gendered competition, and that men are falling behind. Who knows what this is about to be honest. Pretty psychotic if you think about it for more than 25 seconds (without being angry). Gender war nonsense is really dumb on either side of the coin, and the fact that we don’t recognize the female side of things is nuts. The social stuff is what likely pushes out a lot of upper middle class and minority men. I’ve spent a lot of my life working to be able to avoid this stupid stuff. I mostly do, now that I’ve left the United States. The only reminder is when I hang out with my family, or friends of my family.
What can young men do?
The first thing young men can do is realize that the best way to create a life for themselves is to be self-employed, work in healthcare, or to become very high skilled. The first option is unclear, and daunting. It can end in disaster if you do something without a transferrable skillset like selling pet rocks. The second option is the easiest to execute. The third option is in-between. Industries go up and down, and corporate employees don’t get paid that well. The real money is in legal stuff and consulting, as far as I can tell. Getting into an elite school is helpful if you want to get on the increasingly competitive corporate track.
The second thing young men can do is realize how far their dollars go in certain countries or cities and live in places which offer them the best quality of life. You want a safe environment in which you can live comfortably on your income and have an active social life. If you mainly care about money, profit centers like New York and Toronto are great, but I’ve found that there are a lot of happy, relaxed people living in places like Ottawa, Canada. This is because wages are similar to Toronto, but the cost of living is far lower. A lot of people like the hustle and bustle of big cities, but I think purposely living in a big city is a big mistake. Why give up peace of mind just to go to better restaurants and see more diversity? I’m black and I don’t get the hype. Not every small town is a sundown town. It’s a different story if you have parents who were successful enough to afford a house. But still.
I’ve said it previous articles that I don’t really believe in excuses. I say this knowing full well the economic realities of country in which I live. I’m going to have to push hard to get to $20,000 per year. But that’s a great amount as a self-employed young man where I am, and it’s possible because I didn’t give up and decide that I would work a low wage job or aimlessly live off my family members. I looked for solutions and found a clear path to getting ahead of the crowd. I probably won’t focus too much on money, however. Working hard has taken away from other aspects of my life.
The average man would do well either saving a bunch of money/going location independent and moving to some warm country or going to Europe and making themselves useful. Those who are cut out for it, might be able to make a beautiful life for themselves in the United States. The problem is that you’re at the mercy of the healthcare system. Some people are ok with that trade off, but I’d rather live somewhere where things are more guaranteed.
As far as becoming self-employed, don’t unless you’re in a poor country. You need to learn some skills first. If you’re in a poor country, just spend the first few years hustling your butt off and getting educated. You already know a minimum wage job will get you nowhere. You need a certification or to sell stuff on the side. The good news is that there shouldn’t be too much competition. A lot of your peers aren’t doing anything at all, especially if they’re young.
As I said in previous articles, we live in some pretty awesome times. There are lots of opportunities for people who are smart and disciplined. But we also have to live in reality. Being a young man kind of sucks, and it’s mostly society’s fault. But maybe this article will help people understand that if they value young men in society (they don’t), they should change their behavior. Because a lot of us have or already are “checked out” of the west. And it’ll only get worse once other countries become wealthy enough to poach the most talented individuals.
Thanks for paying attention.
