Heartbreak is one of those things we wish we didn’t experience as men, but it’s something we can’t get away from. If you want to live life, you’re going to have to experience heartbreak. The disappointment that comes with someone else not matching our expectations, or worse actively trying to hurt us can be crushing. But there’s no point in wallowing, and there’s no point in suffering pointlessly and endlessly. I’ve been through a couple heartbreaks. I didn’t necessarily deal with them well, but I also didn’t necessarily deal with them badly. I had a lot of other stuff going on in my life, so I spiraled a bit. But now I’m doing a lot better and have a clear focus and vision for the future.
Avoid self-pity
Self-pity is a timewaster and life ruiner. It also isn’t respectable or manly. If you let self pity take you, you’re going to fall to the bottom of society: the genetic rejects. Generally speaking, you should never feel sorry for yourself. You should be determined to serve God and create a great life for yourself. Feeling bad for yourself brings you away from all of that.
Avoid addiction
Addiction is easy to fall into when you’re heartbroken. Addiction is a disease of loneliness. When we use, we are coping with the emptiness we feel inside when we have to face our fears. That, or the desperate desire we have to be hugged. I have dealt with addiction a lot over the course of my life. It was because I was in both physical and emotional pain. Drugs and alcohol might feel good in the short run, but they sidetrack you as time goes on.
Control your anger
The period of time immediately after a heartbreak is really dangerous for a young man. If you act out of anger, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble. Learn to control your anger before you get heartbroken. That way, you won’t make any dumb decisions when it happens. Acting out of anger can lead you to crime, destruction, and financial ruin. Don’t let your emotions run you.
Don’t try to be too macho
Life sucks and it a lot of things can really hurt us. If you try and be too hypermasculine and pretend you don’t feel anything, you’re gonna go crazy. Admit to yourself that life sucks and focus on the next individual steps you can take to make your life better.
Make something of yourself
A lot of hustle and grind bros will tell you to focus on going to the gym and getting money. I think this is myopic and limiting. I would say that if you want to get over a heartbreak, make something of yourself. Do things that make you feel proud and happy.
Live out your beliefs
The best way to go through life after heartbreak is to live out your beliefs. Live how you want to live. Do the things that you want to do. Be around the people you love and want to be around. If you live out your beliefs, you avoid wallowing and allowing the person who broke your heart to take pleasure in your unhappiness.
Have fun
If you’re heartbroken, you’re going to want to do whatever’s fun for you, within the bounds of the law and morality. The cure for heartbreak is connectivity and joy. Have as much fun as you can. Enjoy hobbies and hang out with the people of your choice. Without fun, there is no point to being alive. Enjoy yourself.
Take total accountability
Oftentimes, we’re brokenhearted because someone who was close to us was in the wrong. But we still chose to have those people in our lives. As a man, taking total accountability for your circumstances is powerful. Even if you didn’t do anything wrong. There must have been something you could have forseen. Ever since I’ve taken this attitude to life, I’ve found that life has been incredibly simple and straightforward. If you’re being rejected due to your looks, that’s fixable. If you’re around the wrong people, change your friend group. Take ownership of your life.
Avoid being entitled
If you’re heartbroken purely due to rejection, just remember that people don’t owe you anything outside of the physical realm. Trying to control someone’s feelings will destroy your spirit. Don’t be entitled, let whatever it is go. Noone owes you anything.
Realize you can’t control other people
You really are powerless in this department. Sure, you might be able to manipulate people in theory. But in practice, you have no control over other people’s feelings. The best thing to do when you’re at odds with anyone is to analyze your behavior to see if you did anything wrong, then forget about them and their ideas. The truth is you’re not gonna agree with everyone. You can’t control anyone. So let it go. Certain thoughts have no potential to positively impact our lives.
Earn enough money to afford a family
Unfortunately, a family life in the sense that is traditionally portrayed online and on TV costs money. You basically have to have enough money to support at least one extra person, if not two or three. In today’s world, this means entering the upper income percentiles. That being said, you don’t need to be super rich. If you live in the right places, a family
Heartbreak is one of those things that change you. When you experience it, it’s like all the colors are turned off. But it can be overcome, and you can live a happy life even if you experience multiple heartbreaks. What defines a successful person isn’t they are when things are going well. It’s how they are when life is smacking them in the face. If you can take heartbreak like an honest, well balanced man, it should define your life in a positive way.
Thanks for paying attention.