I’ve dealt with a good amount of trauma in my life. I don’t particularly want to go into the details, but it was pretty bad. I’ve recently started to feel better, but it’s taken a lot of time and energy to get to that point. I’m not finished with my journey, but I have made a vast amount of progress. At the age of 20, I was a mess. By the age of 23, I was still a mess but starting to calm down. Now, I’ve got things pretty much under control. I get up every day, and I’m able to do the same thing: produce articles of value. At a certain point, using trauma as an excuse for success and failure isn’t an option. You have to make something of yourself, or life will pass you by. I’ve been noticing this more and more with men who are around my age. They don’t work, they wallow, and life passes right by them. It’s unfortunate and could easily be avoided by simply having the discipline to do one thing for a long time. It’s important that you’re able to push past whatever troubles you’re dealing with. Here’s what I would do to cope.
Leave the area of the trauma
A lot of people get really attached to their hometowns and place of birth. They feel insecure about striking out and stay put for the entirety of their lives. I personally think that the farther away physically you get from the source of your trauma, the better off you’ll be. Changing your environment allows you to change your mindset and your habits. Moving got me into the mindset of being a consistent worker, and breaking goals into bite-sized chunks. This is also because I moved to a place that was poorer than my home country. I was forced to slow down and work, or eventually experience poverty. Regardless, I personally have found that simply avoiding the source of your trauma is better than being stressed day in and day out. If you need to just move.
Avoid things that remind you of the trauma
There’s no point in being exposed to things that remind you of the traumatic past. If your trauma is caused by friends and family, then they probably aren’t your friends and family. If you got attacked by some animal, just avoid that animal. Whatever doesn’t kill you does not make you stronger, it just distracts you from the fun and success you could be enjoying elsewhere.
Smoke weed
This is a double-edged sword. I wrote an article about quitting weed on this very same blog. But anecdotally speaking, weed keeps away nightmares. It’ll get you through the night, and stave off the suicidal thoughts if or when they hit you. If you’re super traumatized, smoking a bit of weed is better than dying, in my opinion. Nothing I write is medical advice, by the way.
Make Money
This is an area where you might have to swallow your pride and face your fears. Unfortunately, making money is kind of hard. If you’re in a first world country you can make enough to get by, but you need to be fairly well educated or hardworking to feel comfortable nowadays, especially if you’re under the age of 40. I made the mistake of moving to a poorer country, and as such know what it’s like to need to depend on others as I create a foothold in the world. Social mobility is easier in first world countries, where you can escape the comforts, vices, and curses that you grew up around. Thankfully my family isn’t so bad, but I couldn’t imagine growing up in a household surrounded by drugs of violence. I often find myself falling into old family habits.
Making money will often force you to face your traumas. You might need to live in a certain city in order to get a job, or it could be that you need to be around a certain type of person. But making money will usually force you to change something about your routine. I would use this as a sort of exposure therapy. I don’t really like talking to people. But working a sales job was useful. I forced myself to speak up, and now it feel like I can talk to anybody. You get over stuff really quickly when you need to do it in order to earn a living.
Have Fun
If you never have fun, what’s the point of living? It’s important to explore your hobbies and learn what you like. I did a lot of this when I was young. I had the privilege of being exposed to a variety of experiences and activities. I don’t spend a lot of my time on hobbies, but I also pretty much know what I like. Basically, I know what I’m working towards. Try to design a fun lifestyle. In the long run, you won’t want to be living a boring, oppressive life. Structure it so that you can enjoy yourself, even if you work hard through your 20s and 30s.
Engage In Introspection
When you have free time, or maybe before bed, you should just spend some time thinking. Don’t overdo it but try to understand yourself. Life is a lot easier if you understand how you feel, why you feel that way, and why you end up doing what you do. Don’t dwell too much on past mistakes but think a bit. I’ve personally found this to be extremely helpful.
Trauma sucks, but it also just doesn’t really work to drown in it. If you want some type of life you need to push forward. Trust me, the life you can achieve by learning a skill and practicing it is beautiful. It really doesn’t take much if you’re location independent. Basically, a bit of research, elbow grease, and consistency can get you ahead of 90% of the population. So, keep moving forward.
Thanks for paying attention.
By Rising Current on .
Exported from Medium on November 8, 2024.
