Your social life determines how you live. A good social life is a lot of fun. A bad one can be quite depressing and boring. Nobody likes to be bored, and loneliness can lead to crippling depression if it isn’t addressed quickly. Improving your social can seem impossible when you’re really lonely. Especially if you’re young and/or poor. But it is possible with effort. All you need to do is follow a few steps.
Learn to love yourself
The main key to socializing well is having a certain level of self-love and self-respect. If your self-esteem is in the toilet, you’re just going to end up being around the wrong people. You’re probably going to be less likable than you otherwise would be. It’s not going to be much fun, generally speaking. Improving your self-esteem is hard. But it starts with making a conscious effort. There are a few resources on this website to help you do that.
Get older
People develop a bit more empathy as they age, generally speaking. There are some exceptions here and there, but most people are at their worst when they’re young. Hanging out with (the right) older people when you’re younger doesn’t hurt either.
Make more money
You don’t need to be rich. But social life improves a bit as you earn more money. It depends on what you do for a living, but don’t be afraid to work hard, especially when you’re young. Having more money puts you in safer neighborhoods, allows you to meet smarter/luckier people, and makes you more attractive. Yes, I think men prefer women with money too. From what I can tell, men don’t like when women have to work hard and be assertive in order to earn money. They wouldn’t mind a nice girl with a trust fund. If you find yourself earning at least 1.5x as much as the median person in your area, you should have no trouble cultivating a good social life.
Work a sales job
I used to recommend that people work door to door sales. That will work wonders, but you don’t have to go to such extremes. People don’t really like door to door sales. It’s better to work a job that forces you to interact with customers and/or drive revenue. Take it seriously. Once you have a bit of self-confidence, working a sales job will give you the sensitivity required to have “good” social skills. Pretty much everyone who works a sales job notices an improvement in their social life.
If you don’t have money, physical activity is your friend
This can be pickup sports, hiking, dancing, whatever. If you’re able bodied, moving around is absolutely free. You just have to figure out how to get yourself to and from social events. if you’re young, or just going through tough times, getting out and hiking and working out is the way to go if you want to socialize. The people you meet should be friendly and secure in themselves.
If you have money, work hard regardless
This is because parties are way better in your late 20s and early 30s. When people are able to afford more stuff. This fact applies to every aspect of life, not just party/club culture. Being the only one with money in any given setting can really suck. This is why generally speaking, you see rich people hanging out with each other rather than the masses. If you’re under 25 or so, work hard. After that, partying becomes a lot more fun. More people can afford to hang and do fun things.
Impove your hygeine
It never hurts. Especially if you’re starting from a place of total loneliness/mental illness. Take a look at how you dress too. Being isolated can make us a little crazy. Socializing again takes a bit of recalibration.
Keep in touch with people in social settings, but don’t be too clingy
This will vary from country to country. In some places such as Colombia, you can make friends easily. People will text you back all the time, and they’re easy to connect with pretty much as soon as you meet them. This isn’t the case everywhere. It’s unfortunately better to seem a little aloof. That being said, popular people do text first. it’s all a balance.
Popular people text first
I forget where I heard this, and I can’t find the original YouTube video where I heard this expression. But it’s true. I know I just told you not to be clingy. But people do appreciate it when you reach out. Reach out to really cool people and see if they eventually start to reach out themselves. That’s how you make a friend.
Date
Sex is an important part of socializing. No need to go crazy, but it should be fun to date. I know things change a lot as you age, but a positive mind can do a lot. One thing’s for sure. It doesn’t get any easier as you age. So, make sure to do it while you can.
Don’t be afraid to move
The fastest way to change your social life is to move. I recommend doing it, if you’re not enjoying your hometown. You don’t need to be a passport bro or leave your entire country. But moving does work. Move for more lifestyle and career choices, not improved dating options. This is why making money matters for your social life. Money gives you options.
Improving your social life is hard at first, but the effects tend to snowball dramatically after a few years. If you make a conscious effort to follow the steps outlined in this article, you’re going to see a dramatic improvement after about 8 or 9 months. Within 5 years, you should have things “figured out” when it comes to your current and future social life. Meaning you’re around the right people, and you have a rough idea of who you want to be around in the future. This doesn’t mean that you should delay, however. Get out there and talk to people. Be polite and normal, and don’t be shy. It’s a lot of fun when you get used to it. If you miss out on this aspect of life, you’ll have missed out on a lot of life.
Thanks for paying attention.
