I think that in many ways, a lot of (the most vocal) women out there have standards that are too high when it comes to dating. Ironically, I don’t get the sense that most women are too picky when it comes to looks. Most guys don’t approach women and don’t work out. The fact that men don’t get matches on dating apps means nothing, because most of us don’t socialize enough to compensate regardless. I personally think it’s men who have the high standards. While women are picky, I think a lot of men are discouraged and delusional, and it’s leading a lot of them to give up for no reason, as has been lamented by many a journalist over the last few weeks. There are several factors at play, and they’re creating the perfect storm we’re seeing now.
A lot of women want to live like high earning Americans
This is basically the biggest issue with the dating market, as far as I can tell. Pretty much every young woman with a TV or cellphone in the “developed world” has seen American TV. They also increasingly earn their own money and are more prone to double up on household chores and childcare related tasks. This means that many of them intrinsically expect a man to earn more than they do. They’re also hustling hard and doing well for themselves. So, kids aren’t happening for most young, well-educated women. There are not enough “economically attractive” guys to make the dream work. It is what it is.
A lot of women have high physical standards
Basically, it’s harder to get laid with women than it is with men. Doesn’t really matter who you are. This means that in a world without cold approaching, most men are dead in the water and will rightfully feel like nothing is happening for them. The mistake they make after is thinking all women hate them.
A lot of men are straight up crazy
If you really want to support another human being because you have a tradwife fantasy, you’ve lost your mind. Why create so much extra work for yourself in life? You can beat 80–95% of people with sheer effort alone, and live well, and just hang out with people who make their own way in life. No need to kill yourself trying to finance someone else’s lifestyle. What happens if you die anyways? Sure, the idea of a woman who just hangs out at home might be appealing, but it just doesn’t make sense long term. Unless you’re planning on working your butt off forever. It takes a lot of effort to make huge amounts of money. Is it worth it just to have someone hanging around? Better to have casual sex, although that’s crazy too. Meeting new people takes time and energy, and if you’re not using condoms, you can get sick. I used to think everything feminists said was nonsense, but I think a lot of men actually are intimidated by strong independent women. I think there’s nothing wrong with a woman who works, you just don’t want one who’s super rich and overly ambitious. Upper middle class is good enough, especially if you’re on your grind.
Porn and SSRIs have toasted young men
SSRIs are the worst. Don’t take them. They’re completely stupid and pointless. They also sometimes break your dick, to keep it short and simple. Porn is also really bad for young men, especially if you’re watching non-amateur stuff, which most of them do. A lot of men get too judgmental of women’s bodies as a result of porn, I was guilty of this when I was younger. I didn’t know how pretty the women I was attracting were. Now, I limit the porn, and I find real women hot. Real curves and stuff, yada yada.
Men let MeToo psych them out
This is understandable in the United States to a certain degree, but it just isn’t reasonable to expect that a normal approach would land you in prison. Most false allegations of assault don’t do much more than cause severe anxiety, embarrassment, and hurt to the person being accused. Don’t create any true allegations. It seems like everything in the United States is too over the top.
American men find dating success in other first world countries, even men from poorer ethnic groups (not just throwing money around)
This tells us that a lot of the issues with dating don’t have to do with women’s standards. They have to do with toxic American gender war nonsense. Being a young man in America sucks, I get that. But if more men employed logic and reasoning, they would feel more hopeful about dating, women, and life.
What can men do?
There are a few things that guys can do to have their standards match up with reality. The first thing they can do is understand that women can and should pull their own financial weight. If you think you can get rich and have your wife, be a beautiful stay at home mom then go for it. If you make $20 million USD and move to Thailand, I’m sure you can meet a hottie who’s willing to stay home and live out a tradwife fantasy. But if you’re anywhere near normal and want to live a well-rounded life, you probably just want a woman who can pull her own weight. If you’re upper middle class but not rich, having a stay-at-home mom wife with no skills is a liability. If you’re kind of rich and your wife stays home, there isn’t *that* much to go around, and you still have the same liability. You’ll also lose out on valuable time with your kids and your health will suffer. If you’re actually rich, you’ll probably create mental illness in your wife and kids.
The second thing you can do is go overseas. It’s just better overseas. Women are the same everywhere by nature, but American women (and probably men, but I don’t date men) are a different beast. When I lived in the United States I hung out with Afro Latinos and Europeans. The local men and women were legit terrifying. Forget simping, forget being a passport bro, forget worrying about whether you pull 8s here or 7s there. Learn a language if you need to and go build your life in a normal place. The more I progress in my work, the less I can imagine the concept of having to build a family life in the United States, after finding a partner. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze. You can dial the money stuff way more easily overseas, and the healthcare situation allows you to follow your passion.
So basically, when it comes to physical standards, women are “harder” to convince to have sex. But men are overall more delusional. Men don’t think through the practicalities of daily life as much as they should. They tend to get up obsessed with one thing (often money) and focus way too hard on it. Women are just picky. There’s a big difference. As someone who feels like he’s figured out a good amount of the financial stuff, I think the quality of your personal life is way more important than making money. It’s just that making a decent amount of money minimizes a lot of existential problems. After a certain income level (2–3x the median income of your hometown), I think a lot of men would benefit from getting in shape, quitting porn, and socializing. Being too rich (and having too much to lose) distances you from normal women anyways. Overall, while a lot of people’s complaints about women being annoying are fairly well placed, it’s men who are often out of their minds when it comes to dating. If more men (especially those of us over 25) were more focused on normal, everyday stuff, maybe the women wouldn’t be so psycho either?
Thanks for paying attention.
