When I was 18, I imagined that I would be in Shanghai or Hong Kong by now. I should have completed graduate school by now, perhaps with a degree in Engineering or Law. I thought I would have a nice job that pays a decent salary, and maybe be looking to date some smart lady who works in my field of study. Boy did I stray from that plan. Now I’m 25, I live in a place that’s a lot poorer and more dangerous than Hong Kong, and I’m recovering from addiction.
Things fell apart during my high school years. I had a terrible home life, and couldn’t stop smoking weed and running away from home to cope. I ended up in a school that was academically rigorous, but soon realized that my goals of heading to East Asia weren’t going to be supported.
I gave up.
For about 3 years I spent every single day getting high on whatever drug you can imagine. I’ve used everything besides meth and crack. I didn’t really plan on living past the age of 21, and I had a lot more fun getting high than I did slaving away at school. It was honestly kind of a blast.
But it didn’t get me anywhere, and now I’m where I am, and I don’t have a degree.
But I do know how to build an audience, and I know what I know about life. And I have a plan, and it’s working.
Ever since I started going for what I really want, I actually feel somewhat alive. I am motivated to work every day, and I look forward to the future. That’s a lot more than I could say for myself during most of the first 20 years of my life.
Going for what you want sounds easy, but it can be difficult for a lot of people. Limiting beliefs can be really destructive. I forced myself to forget my dreams through limiting beliefs, and I found myself angry and miserable. Working towards your dreams should make you less angry and miserable, but if not: it’s better to be angry and miserable going for what you want than engaging in a pointless task. You only get one life. Unless someone you know is extremely sick, or there’s some other type of emergency, you should go for your goals and dreams. Fuck what the little voice in the back of your head is telling you. Listening to that voice is how you end up an alcoholic.
I will obviously need to compromise. I’m not going to Hong Kong. I’ll be in Vietnam or Cambodia. I didn’t get too deep into Chinese (Mandarin or Cantonese) culture. So if the latter are super different I won’t remember after all these years. Either way, I’ve never been to a place in Asia that I didn’t find kind of awesome. It’s been over a decade since I’ve been and I’ve wanted to go back ever since. You might be at an age or state of health where you also need to compromise. But it’s not worth getting even older and wondering what could have been. So don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Get after it.
Thanks for paying attention.
By Rising Current on .
Exported from Medium on November 8, 2024.
