Making friends is one of the things which makes life truly worth living. But we can’t always keep friends. Sometimes it’s because we’re struggling. Other times it’s because things are chaotic. Losing friends can really hurt, if they cut you off or were rude to you before the relationship ended. We invest a lot of time into our friendships, and we always remember how they end when they end badly. It has a particular sting. But oftentimes, losing a friend is actually a good thing.
Sometimes, people just move on
Jobs, school, spouses. They all take us to different places in life. Life happens, and we can’t live in the past and maintain the same friendship circles. I’ve lived in multiple different countries, and while I care for a lot of people, I can’t keep in touch with or miss all of them. It’s neither efficient nor possible. All I can do is be nostalgic and enjoy the memories of the past. Sure, I can be sad about missing my friends, but I have no choice but to miss them.
A lot of your friends are undercover haters
I’ve learned this the hard way. A lot of people secretly hate you. Especially if you have a lot going for you in life. I’ve compensated for this by not trusting a lot of people. I regret it in some ways, but being careful has been a good strategy in many others. Most, if not all people are inclined towards jealousy. Letting them know about your blessings is not a fantastic idea. Cut off anybody who you perceive to be hating on you. Life is way too short to be dealing with that stuff.
A lot of otherwise nice people are going nowhere and up to no good
This is an unfortunate fact of life. People get beaten down. They fall into drinking, drugs, or other destructive habits. They might treat you well, but maybe they like to start fights. Or maybe they’re always lying to people. Either way, you’re going to experience the consequences of your friends’ behavior sooner or later, even if they truly care for you more than others. Sometimes losing touch with people who are doing nothing is the best thing that can happen to you. I experienced a lot of success when I cut off certain people, because my mind had become clearer.
When is losing a friend a sad thing?
If you’re reasonably self-assured and confident, you shouldn’t be too sad about losing a friend, unless you were in the wrong. Being in the right doesn’t mean being smart or knowledgeable. It means knowing you did your best to treat your friend properly. Did you consider their feelings? Did you care about them? Were you helpful? Were you a kind person to them? If you can’t answer those questions with a “yes”, then losing a friend might indeed be a sad thing. Time to go back to the drawing board.
You are the average of the people you spend the most time with
If you spend most of your time with random losers who spend their days drinking, you’ll end up like them. This is a big danger for me as a digital nomad. A lot of people where I am are living very leisurely lifestyles. They spend the entirety of their lives drinking and end up having little or nothing to show for it as they age. If they were more focused, they would be able to succeed and live productive lives, even if they weren’t destined to become wealthy. You want to be around people who have good mental health, are productive, and happy. Losing friends who don’t fit into those categories is always an indirect blessing.
Losing friends is a part of life. Sometimes it’s meant to be, other times it’s tragic. Sometimes the other person is being completely unreasonable. Other times it’s your fault. There’s no going back in the past. Appreciate the silver linings and be selective in who you hang out with in the future. There are lots of lessons to be learned from out past friendships, and they can be learned as long as we keep a clear head.
Thanks for paying attention.
