There’s a particular window in life when international moves are feasible in ways they simply won’t be later. If you’re considering relocating to a country with a lower cost of living, the calculus changes dramatically once children enter the picture.
The decision isn’t primarily about money, though that’s often what draws people to consider such moves in the first place. A software developer earning Western wages while living in Vietnam or Mexico can stretch their income remarkably far. But this lifestyle arbitrage becomes far more complicated when you’re responsible for shaping another human being’s formative years.
Children need stability in ways that adults don’t. They form attachments to friends, teachers, and places. They develop within cultural contexts that give them a sense of identity and belonging. Uproot a seven-year-old from the only home they’ve known, and you’re not just changing their address. You’re asking them to rebuild their entire social world, often in a language they don’t speak, following customs they don’t understand.
The educational question looms largest. International schools in developing countries can be excellent, but they’re expensive, often costing as much as private schools in wealthy nations. This eliminates much of the financial advantage that motivated the move. Local schools are cheaper, but may not provide the education you want for your children, particularly if you plan to eventually return to your home country or want your kids to attend university in the West. The curriculum might not align, the teaching methods might differ significantly, and your children may find themselves academically behind their peers if you move back.
Then there’s healthcare. Adults can often navigate medical systems in foreign countries with reasonable success. We can advocate for ourselves, research our options, and travel if necessary for serious conditions. Children, especially young ones, get sick frequently and unpredictably. Finding pediatric specialists in countries with less developed healthcare infrastructure can be difficult. The peace of mind that comes from knowing you can get immediate, high-quality medical care for a sick child is hard to put a price on.The language barrier affects children differently than adults. While children are famously quick language learners, that transition period can be isolating and stressful. They may fall behind in school, struggle to make friends, and feel fundamentally displaced. Adults who move internationally typically maintain strong connections to their culture of origin through the internet, work relationships, and expat communities. Children need real-world peer relationships, and being the foreign kid is hard.
Cultural integration cuts both ways. Some parents want their children to grow up immersed in their heritage culture, and moving to that country achieves this goal. But if you’re moving to a country primarily for economic reasons rather than cultural connection, your children will be caught between worlds. They won’t be fully of the place they live, but they also won’t fully belong to your country of origin when they visit or if you return.
Moving before you have children allows you to take the risks and make the adjustments on your own timeline. You can spend a year figuring out the local systems, making mistakes with your visa status, trying different neighborhoods, and generally acclimating without worrying about how your choices affect anyone else’s critical developmental period. You can test whether the lifestyle actually suits you before committing another person to it.There’s also the practical reality that moving internationally is simply easier without children. Fewer belongings to transport, more housing options available, greater flexibility in where you live, and the freedom to change your mind without guilt. If things don’t work out, you can pivot without feeling like you’ve failed your kids.
This isn’t to say that no one should move internationally with children. Foreign service families, missionaries, and people returning to their country of origin do it successfully all the time. But those moves typically come with institutional support, strong community structures, or compelling personal reasons beyond cost of living. Moving to a developing country primarily for financial arbitrage while raising children introduces complications that can undermine the original motivation.
The years before children arrive offer a unique freedom. You can experiment with different locations and lifestyles, build up savings and work experience, establish remote work arrangements, and position yourself for whatever comes next. If you discover that life in Bali or Buenos Aires or Chiang Mai genuinely suits you, you’ll have time to put down real roots before making it your children’s home too.
The opposite approach, moving internationally once kids arrive, means navigating their needs alongside your own adjustment. Every decision about where to live, what schools to choose, and how long to stay becomes weighted with concerns about their wellbeing and development. The adventure becomes an obligation.If international living is calling to you, the time to answer is before your household grows. Test the waters, learn the lessons, make the mistakes, and figure out what kind of life you actually want to build. Then you can decide whether that life is one you want to share with children, and whether the country you’ve chosen is genuinely where you want to raise them, not just where you want to minimize expenses while you raise them.