Of all the subtle dynamics that shape a conversation, one of the most fundamental and most frequently violated is the act of not talking over someone else. We’ve all been on either side of it. You’re in the middle of sharing an idea, and just as you’re reaching the crux of your point, another voice cuts in, finishing your sentence or launching into a related thought. The thread is snapped, your momentum is lost, and suddenly the focus shifts. It’s a jarring experience, one that can leave you feeling unheard and devalued. Conversely, we’ve all been the interrupter, perhaps driven by enthusiasm, a fear of forgetting our own thought, or the simple desire to relate. Yet, regardless of the intention, the act of speaking over someone creates a rift.
At its core, not talking over someone is an act of respect. It is a physical anf audible demonstration that you are interested in what the other person has to say. When you hold your tongue, you are signaling that their words have weight and their perspective matters. You are creating a space for them to articulate their thoughts without the pressure of competition. This allows them to explore their own ideas more fully, to land on the precise word they were searching for, and to feel heard. The conversation ceases to be a race to the finish line.
This practice also changes the nature of listening. Active listening is nearly impossible when your brain is formulating your next interjection. If you are focused on waiting for the next available millisecond to jump in, you are not truly absorbing the substance of what is being said. You are listening to reply, not to understand. By committing to not interrupting, you free up your mental energy to actually process the other person’s message and to appreciate the emotions behind the words. You become a participant in their story, rather than a competitor vying for airtime. When it is finally your turn to speak, your response is often more thoughtful and relevant because it is built on a complete understanding of what came before.
The benefits of this discipline extend far beyond politeness. In a world that often feels increasingly polarized and fragmented, the ability to hold space for another’s voice is a form of bridge-building. When people feel truly listened to, genuine connection becomes possible. It fosters an environment where vulnerability is safe and contentious topics can be explored with care. It is in these spaces, that the most meaningful exchanges occur. The next time you find yourself in a conversation, try waiting. You might be surprised at the response you get.