There’s a conversation happening right now about young men feeling left behind, angry, or disconnected from modern society. Economic anxiety, loneliness, educational challenges, shifting gender dynamics—these are real issues that deserve attention and compassion. But here’s what can’t happen: we cannot let legitimate grievances become an excuse for misogyny.When men are hurting, the temptation to blame women for that pain is seductive. It’s simple. It’s immediate. And it’s everywhere online, packaged in communities that promise belonging and understanding. But blaming women for your problems doesn’t make those problems better. It makes them worse, and it makes the world worse for everyone.
Misogyny doesn’t solve male loneliness.
Viewing women as adversaries, as manipulators, as the source of your suffering—this guarantees you’ll never form genuine connections with half the human population. The men who are happiest, most fulfilled, and least lonely are those who see women as full human beings, as friends, partners, colleagues, and equals. Resentment is a prison you build yourself.
Your pain doesn’t justify someone else’s oppression.
This is fundamental. Yes, men face real challenges. Mental health stigma, lack of emotional support, dangerous working conditions, higher suicide rates—these matter deeply. But none of these problems are caused by women having rights, voices, or opportunities. Fighting for men’s wellbeing and fighting against women’s equality are not the same thing. One is justice; the other is just bitterness wearing a political costume.
Silence makes you complicit.
When your friend makes a joke about women being irrational, when your gaming group casually throws around slurs, when someone shares a video claiming women are biologically inferior, your silence is a choice. It tells everyone present that you’re okay with it. It emboldens the speaker. It isolates the women who might be listening. And it slowly normalizes views that lead to real harm.
I know calling it out is uncomfortable. You might lose friends. You might get mocked for being “woke” or “whipped” or whatever the insult of the day is. But character isn’t tested when it’s easy. It’s tested when standing up costs you something.
This isn’t about being perfect.
We all grew up in a society steeped in sexism. We’ve all absorbed messages we need to unlearn. The goal isn’t to perform moral purity; it’s to actively push back against a culture that devalues women. That means listening when women describe their experiences, even when those experiences implicate you or men like you. It means examining your own assumptions. It means caring about systems and patterns, not just individual intentions.
And here’s the truth nobody wants to hear: your disaffection doesn’t make you special.
Millions of people face hardship without turning it into hatred. Women experience economic anxiety, loneliness, and social pressure too, often compounded by the very misogyny we’re discussing. LGBTQ people, racial minorities, immigrants—they face systemic challenges and don’t get a pass on bigotry because of it. Your struggles are real, but they don’t exempt you from basic human decency.
The men worth admiring throughout history weren’t those who blamed women for the world’s problems. They were the ones who stood up, often at great cost, and said: this isn’t right. They recognized that everyone’s liberation is bound up together, that tearing others down doesn’t lift you up.
So yes, fight for better mental health resources for men. Build communities that support male friendships and emotional vulnerability. Push back against toxic expectations of masculinity. Create space for men to struggle and heal without shame.
But do all of that while also refusing to tolerate misogyny. Do it while standing beside women, not against them. Do it while recognizing that gender equality isn’t a zero-sum game where men lose so women can win.
Being a good man isn’t complicated. It just requires seeing women as people, treating them accordingly, and refusing to stay silent when others don’t. Your hurt is real. Your anger might be justified. But the target of that anger matters. Aim it at systems, at inequality, at the forces that pit us against each other.Just don’t aim it at women. We’re better than that. And if we’re not, we should be.