One of the most important things you will need to do if you’re dating women is learning to connect with them on an emotional level. This is complicated, because everyone is different. Connections are built through familiarity, similarities, and shared preferences. They take time to build and can’t be explained in a single article. All that being said, giving compliments is one of the best ways to build a connection with a woman. A compliment is a baby step. A good compliment won’t make a woman want to sleep with you or marry you, but it can go a very long way in breaking down the barriers between the two of you. So, here’s how you give good compliments.
Avoid sexual stuff
This should be obvious. If you say stuff that’s too sexual, you come across as rude or overly aggressive. Some people can get away with this stuff, but it’s not me and it’s probably not you. Getting too sexual too fast is a big red flag in both men and women. It’s a sign of mental health issues.
Avoid talking about yourself
A lot of guys do this unintentionally when complimenting women. They say something like: “Nice glasses. I love girls with glasses.” I think this creeps women out for two reasons. The first is that it’s self-absorbed. This is a total hunch, but I bet when attractive guys do this, women imagine being knocked up and left, because that’s what self-absorbed men do. The second reason you shouldn’t talk about yourself when giving compliments, is that it makes you look easy. By talking about what you like, you often set an implicit criterion that other women have to meet in order to pull you. If it seems like any woman with glasses can pull you, most normal women are going to ditch you.
A good compliment focuses on the woman’s choices not her attributes
This means that rather than complimenting a woman’s eye color, you compliment the way she chose to do her hair. You want to show that you’re observant, attracted to her, and not completely controlled by lust. You want to show that you can have a conversation without trying to make an aggressive advance. Analyzing your compliments is an easy way for women to either accept you or filter you out. If you get too into commenting on her attributes, she might filter you out. This is because people who talk about physical attributes all the time come across as porn addicts, virgins, or sex fiends. Most women don’t really want to be around these types.
Make sure you are confident when you speak, and that your body language is good
You don’t want to look like you’re stuttering or shifty-eyed when you’re complimenting a woman. This will just scare the crap out of her or make her think that there’s something wrong with you. In her mind, confident men are the good men, because if you’re not used to women as an adult male, were you really a good man? It’s a strange, circular logic, but it actually works pretty well as a filter as a woman’s pool of suitors grows older. Learn how to be confident in social situations before you try and give out compliments. Or practice giving compliments to both men and women randomly, in public and outside of your friend group. Doing this twice a day for a few months should help you feel comfortable enough to compliment someone you’re actually interested in.
Compliments are a great way to break ice, flatter people, and generally build rapport. If you learn how to compliment women properly, you’re a winner. If you get it wrong, you’re going to come across as a creep, and you’re going to struggle. Luckily, it’s pretty easy to give the right compliments, especially to women that are young, friendly and attractive. Remember, they’re programmed to like men. You just need to think carefully about what you’re saying and treat the woman you’re talking to like a complete person. A lot of women have a high tolerance for ribbing and sarcasm (as long as you’re not being passive aggressive), which is why a lot of inexperienced guys think they like “douches”. There are a lot of attractive men who are toxic, but when you’re giving compliments, you want to actually be polite, kind, and coming from a place of genuine admiration. Women are very good at telling if you’re a liar or less confident. They can tell if you’re going through some shit too. Giving them real, thoughtful compliments from the heart can make them some of your biggest fans and supporters. All it takes is a little bit of thought and care.
Thanks for paying attention.
