I used to be extremely lacking in confidence. I didn’t think I was smart, attractive, charismatic, or interesting enough to do anything besides study hard and make money. I didn’t see myself as a very worthwhile person outside of my academic and intellectual abilities. It was horrible. I knew I had the talent to “succeed” but didn’t think I could do any of the fun stuff. I didn’t have confidence in any of my social skills and saw myself as being far worse than I am in everything beyond academia. Nowadays I’m a lot more confident. I’ve found my style. I know what I like. I’ve found a way to break into the upper middle class. I’m happy and reasonably self-assured, considering I’m a young man from a poor country. I’ve gained confidence through living life. While living my life, I’ve been able to condense the things that have made me more confident into five distinct actions. If you take those actions, you should be able to increase your confidence, whether you’re a man, woman, or child (teenager, this blog isn’t for kids).
Stop judging other people
The minute you stop judging other people is the minute your life and self-confidence improve. If you judge other people, you’re likely to judge yourself too, whether it be subconsciously or not. When you judge others and have a few braincells, you become insecure. This is because you know inherently that you aren’t perfect. Live your life, and don’t spend time looking at others. If I had been focused on what others were doing when I was younger, I probably would have committed suicide. Things weren’t good back then, and comparison is the thief of joy. If you stop judging other people, you’ll stop judging yourself.
Live in the present
When you dwell on the past, you start to see too much. You dwell on every mistake and things get a lot more complicated. You see every way in which you’ve messed up and may become preoccupied with how those screw ups will make things worse. If you live in the present, you avoid this headache. Don’t dwell on the past. Do what needs to be done now and enjoy yourself while doing it. You only get one life to live. Do what you think is worthwhile, and immerse yourself fully as you do it.
Live life at full speed
The more experiences you have, the more confident you become. This won’t be true for the first 5 to 10 years. But after 7 years of living life at full speed, you should become more confident in yourself. This is because by living fast and hard, you’re going to see a lot of crazy shit. There’s no two ways about this, and your life is going to improve a lot by just living hard. It’s worth it.
Find your skills
The only way to do this is to try a bunch of stuff and see what you’re good at. Don’t ever turn down a first opportunity. You’re throwing spaghetti against the wall here. Try all the sports. Follow all your interests. Learn the language or hobby you want to learn. This is a big reason why rich kids end up succeeding in life. Their parents help them find their skills. It’s far easier to win at life when you’ve been following your talent since the age of 11. You’re already a seasoned profession by the age of 18! Knowing what you’re good at will make you more confident, even if it isn’t much.
Acheive
Once you find your skills, you want to get stuff done. Make progress. Get accolades. Cross milestones. The more you know about the world, the more self-assured you will become. The closer you are to being somebody, the better you will feel. Enjoy the experiences that are wild and fun, but make sure you have some kind of career. Making a dent in the universe is what will make you more confident. Forge ahead in your field of expertise.
Wild card: don’t do things you know are wrong
If you feel guilty, your life is going to suck. You will think you are inherently worse if you’ve done bad things. I have guilt, but not serious or criminal guilt. This is a blessing, because many people can’t say the same for themselves. Overall, you’ll feel more confident knowing that your heart has always been in the right place. It’s better to feel like a part of the community than it does to be an outsider.
Wild card 2: Read philosophy
Once you realize that nothing matters, we probably live in a simulation, and that the entirety of one’s life experience is subjective, there’s not much time for bullshit. Being super philosophical won’t make you confident, but it pulls you away from everyday irrelevancies like politics and social media. I would read some, even if it isn’t a lot.
Wild card 3: Stay physically healthy
If you’re unhealthy, or get into drugs, things are bound to happen which damage your self-confidence. It’s hard to be at your most confident when you’re obese, just got sober, or have medical devices hanging off of you. Health is wealth.
Building confidence is simple but not easy. You basically have to forge it. You can’t really fake it. There are no breathing exercises or documentaries that can substitute for real life. But if you live well and are otherwise healthy, it should come. You just need to be committed. If you’re around people who impede your confidence and progress, or drive you to negative actions, distance yourself as much as possible. Self-esteem and self-confidence are the key to everything. Make sure those aspects of your life are well-developed, if you want to live a life worth remembering.
Thanks for paying attention.
