I remember when dating coaches were more popular. They still are, and that’s probably not for the best. Dating coaches try to get the art of getting a woman to trust you down to a science. This sounds good at first glance, but when you live like one for a bit, you realize pretty quickly that this basically means turning yourself into a scammer. You also realize that pulling a bunch of women is unhealthy and a waste of time and possibly money. So as someone in their late 20s, I wanted to write an article about why wasting time “playing the field” is just that. You should be looking for friends and a girlfriend instead.
Consistent casual sex is quite tough to attain
Unless you meet a specific set of parameters. It’s not the hardest thing ever to maintain, but it takes consistent maintenance. You can’t really just sit around in a dirty room and expect a lot of hot girls to want to hang out with you. So oftentimes, the juice isn’t worse the squeeze when compared to fulfilling relationships.
Consistent casual sex is dangerous
If you want to have a lot of casual sex, prepare for a decent amount of drama. That drama can get really crazy, really fast. This is especially true if you’re in the early stages of life. Anything can happen. It’s not worth it.
You want real friends
If you’re the type to ghost women or fuck everyone’s girl, you won’t have a lot of real friends. It only goes downhill from there.
People are maturing more slowly, so young women are going to become more conservative
People are also having kids later. This all makes sense because the world has gotten more expensive, and people are living longer. It makes sense to take things slow.
Live in an ideal area, stay healthy, get money, and make real friends
This is honestly what life is about. As time goes on and the world becomes a wealthier place, I would expect more and more niche communities top pop up. Groups of couples and families will have neighborhoods and meetups, at the upper end of the socioeconomic range.
You won’t care too much about casual sex with the right person
It should almost be a given. You like each other. Generally speaking, you want to have a good amount of sex with your partner. If you can find someone who actually likes you, then you can win in that department. The way to do this is to get your spending under control and live in a low cost of living area, with a decent amount of support for women. Once you live in an area where women can choose, you’ll have a rough idea of where you stand. Women in high cost of living areas might just be looking for money.
If you’re healthy and have money, dating is basically solved
This is the good thing about being a man in today’s world. The bar is pretty low in a globalized marketplace. A lot of people on the planet still don’t truly have the knowledge to succeed. If you’re able to read this, you’re able to get to the point where you’re making $30,000/year after — tax. If you can make that much and stay healthy, you have a partner somewhere.
You can’t please everyone, be yourself
This way you can attract the right woman for you. Who cares if your rejection rate is high? You’re looking for someone you can spend a lot or all of the rest of your life with.
Long term loneliness outweighs short term pleasure
There’s a reason why most people end up settling and getting married. It’s not worthwhile to be lonely for the rest of your life just because you had a bunch of casual sex between ages 20–50. There’s a lot of more of life to be lived after 50, especially nowadays.
Overall, the biggest mistake someone can make in their 20s is to only be chasing women. If you do that, you’re going to have a hard, complicated life. Instead, it’s best to work hard, do what’s right, and find a normal partner. I know 0% of young bros are going to listen to this, but I figured I would write it anyway.
Thanks for paying attention.
